How much do I love you? Let me *hug* the ways....

I hugged 4 people yesterday and each hug gave me a different feeling.

I hugged my son before he left for school. It was not the usual hug I would give him. This one was long and intense. Reassuring. Reaffirming. It had to be because we had a big fight the night before. With his arms wrapped tightly around my waist, he pinned his cheek against my chest. He needed to know that he was still loved despite everything he had said and done. He was. And that hug validated and reaffirmed it for the both of us.

At my school, I noticed a Nursery 2 girl sprawled on the floor sobbing her heart out. Her teacher was at the other end of the classroom telling a story to the class. I then found out that she had been crying for sometime, refusing to be comforted simply because she had wanted to make a point to her parents that she did not relish coming to school on her birthday.

I sat on the floor next to her, scooped her up onto my lap and just rocked her gently. I felt her body soften and the sobs subside. She burrowed her face into the crux of my neck and draped her arms around me in an embrace only a 4-year-old could muster. It was tight but childlike. We held onto to each other on the floor for a long time. I think the rhythmic rocking calmed her. I then combed her hair into place with my fingers, dried her tears and brought her to sit with the rest of her classmates. She was subversive and intent on the story-telling when I left the classroom.

In the late afternoon, I met a friend, my soulmate.......who understood all my anxieties, fears, frustrations and weaknesses. We hugged and held on for a long time. I needed the reassurance. I felt the love of friendship; the grace of God through this hug. I knew that I did not have to pretend to be composed or happy or strong then. I knew I was treasured for who I was; whether I was up or down. I felt loved.

At night, I visited my mum in the hospital. She started to tear when she spoke of her pains and mortality. I reached out and put my arms around her. It was not something I would do lightly because my mum seldom hugged me. We would hug maybe once or twice a year on occasion but never this spontaneous. As I held her, I could feel how frail and bony her body was. She has lost so much weight. Why didn't I notice it before? Has age ravaged her and I couldn't even tell? I couldn't reconcile the robust and loud woman she once was to the painfully frail image I saw before me. Am I going to wait till she's gone before I can tell her how much I love her?

Four different hugs in a day.............four different emotions. But all good. All made me reflect and take stock of my relationships with people and how I can give and receive freely just by reaching out.

It's all up to me to take this gift further.