The Finish Line

A conversation I had on Friday night has entrenched itself onto my thought recesses. It has sunk its sharp claws onto the cerebral cortex and is gnawing its way into the subliminal; reflecting, probing, investigating. I know it was a ruminative question and no concrete answer was expected. Somehow, I can't help but wonder about it too.

Do nice people finish last?

Anyone who has watched 'Survivor' or 'The Apprentice' will know that beneath the fancy trappings of teamwork and camaraderie, it takes a lot of grit, determination and sometimes pure cunning to emerge the winner. It can seem like getting ahead requires putting your interests above those of others and capitalizing on the misfortune of others.

Look around us and we can see that some of the nastiest folks end up successful while those who try to abide by the rules only live mediocre lives. It does seem that the nicer you are, the harder you fall. The meaner you are, the further you get. Where's the justice here?

I have no answer for that. I only know that the immensely successful folks invariably have a certain viciousness about them. It could be the edgy outlook in life, the cold glint they wear behind their Prada shades or the hard-as-steel emotional fortitude they have painstakingly cultivated. They might be warm and nurturing in their private lives but they would never let the corporate world see that vulnerable side of their psyches. I know of people like that.

The next question is whether these people are born that way or does environment have a part to play? It's now back to the 'nature versus nurture' tango many psychologists and theorists have mulled over, researched and tried to unravel through the decades. I believe it's both genetics and environment. Our personality develops from its original genetic component. People are predisposed to have certain personality traits from birth. The environment will either augment, enhance, or stifle those natural characteristics.

I have been in situations where I did not make the right decision because I was afraid of the repercussions. Or made difficult albeit rational decisions but was later seen as unyielding. Where do we draw the line?

Whether we are predisposed to be tough or nice or whether the environment has shaped us in either direction, I believe everyone of us have our own crosses to carry......even the toughest person sometimes grapples with priorities and life-changing decisions. It is then down to a matter of prerogatives and convictions how we want to live our lives. To me, being at peace with myself is more important than how successful I become.

I also do not think that nice people finish last. They only seem to be lagging behind because they stop to reflect and help others along the way. They are in touch with their inner consciousness and they know that they will leave a legacy. They will be remembered for the lives they touched rather than the million-dollar deals they have closed.