Add and Subtract (I mean......Delete)

I just deleted someone from my mobile phone. With a few tabs of the keypad, the person is gone from my contact list.....possibly forever if I don't ever reinstate her number. It had seemed so easy. But was it really?

In today's digital world, adding and deleting friends on Facebook, MySpace and other social websites are as routine as breathing and eating. Many relationships are reduced to a profile picture or a string of numbers. Gone are the days where friends would talk on the phone for hours, meet up over coffee or just generally hang out to build that relationship.

It was harder to 'un-friend' someone too. For closer friends, we had to physically and responsibly iron out the differences or risk the end of a relationship. Doing so sometimes turned the table around and the relationship became stronger. Today, a click of the mouse and the contact is gone. Some people won't even realise they've been deleted because they have hundreds and thousands of 'friends' anyway.

While the actual act of deleting this friend's contact seemed easy enough, the decision behind it wasn't. For a long time, I had agonised over whether she was a friend worth keeping. We had a good friendship and fantastic chemistry but things have happened to make me believe she was just a good-weather friend.

I hold no grudge against her because she has technically not done anything to hurt me. I just want to stay clear of people who inflate their egos at the expense of others. I guess I don't appreciate being on an emotional roller-coaster ride. I know I will not shun her if she calls or messages me but I will not be the one to initiate any communication henceforth.

Not one to forget friendships I've forged, I know I will always remember her. I guess I just needed a little reprieve from the feeling of not being appreciated. I'm not sure if I will ever 'add' her again .....but I know for now, she is deleted and shall remain in oblivion as far as my mobile phone contact list is concerned.

Let Go....and Let God

God works in such mysterious and wonderful ways.

An old friend and I were just casually texting each other yesterday when I felt compelled to share a decade-old story that's been weighing on my shoulders the last few weeks. I did not expect any concrete advice or resolution except a listening ear......or rather, just some words of solace through my phone screen.

Instead, we kind of wandered into discussion about faith. From all likelihood, this friend of mine is the last person on earth I would expect a chat on spirituality. He's a great person and a good friend but he's still the last person on earth I would engage with in a spiritual tête-à-tête.

But God works in such mysterious and wonderful ways. In my down moments, He sent someone to remind me of His love and grace even if that someone is a little odd, given the circumstances!

Everyone has his own cross to bear but I believe the message for me here is to let go and let God.

Facebook

I've been busy with my Facebook account lately. Year end is a good time to catch up with ex-classmates, ex-colleagues and generally ex-whatever in life. This cool site has enabled me to find or be found by people whom I thought I'd lost touch with; even those who live in other continents now. The only people I've stubbornly refused to add are my current colleagues despite the fact that my whole organisation is in a frenzy with the Facebook fad. Why?

For starters, I find it a tad strange to be on a 'networking' portal with people whom I see everyday or interact with through email or phone on a daily, if not weekly basis. Secondly, what is it they say about not mixing business with pleasure? Some working relationships are better kept that way.......as a working relationship, that is. In other words, people who know what I have for lunch everyday will not be 'poked', 'hugged' or 'thrown gummy bears at' by me.

But this does not mean that I do not appreciate or treasure my colleagues. I do. I enjoy the teamwork and camaraderie at my workplace. Over the years, some of my colleagues have even become firm friends despite the differences in race and religion. It's just that I believe in keeping work and private lives separate.

I guess I'm a sentimental person. I want to fiercely guard my relationships and reminiscences with old friends and not dilute them with the present. It is amazing to be able to still connect people from 20 years ago and the ability to pick up from where we've left off is priceless.

Life is short and fraught with challenges. There are only 24 hours a day. Besides work, family and daily routines, how much time do we have left to touch base with people in our lives? There are some friends we keep in touch with regularly but to those whom we can't, there's always Facebook. And it's a great invention if used properly and wisely.

Compassion

I learned a lesson on compassion today.

Today is the day our local banking giant releases the dreaded news on who stays and who goes. I have been on tenterhooks for my girlfriend whom I have known for just over 10 months. I have always known that she's a great person - pretty, zany, sincere and God-loving. But I did not know that she has a heart of gold too.

Through our email correspondence, she shares that she is not on the retrenchment list but her unit's despatch guy will have to leave. Under the tense situation, I had expected her to heave a sigh of relief and move on.

But no, she asks rhetorically why it must be this guy to leave when he has a family and young children to feed? She would rather she got the axe because she is young and resilient; notwithstanding that her wedding is just next year and the bills are meanwhile mounting.

We all know why the despatch is asked to leave. He has worked with the bank for merely a year and he is at the lowest of the food chain. But would his leaving make any difference to the bank's bottom line?

What if pay cut is exercised instead? Can they make do with a little less and help others keep their jobs?? A pay cut for some of these guys might mean the difference between a Cartier watch and a Guess watch for Christmas but for lower level folks, getting the axe literally means the difference between food and starvation for the family.

While I thank God for answering my prayer that my friend gets to keep her job, I'm also thankful that he has also shown me what a truly beautiful friend I have. Through her, I learned that compassion comes from the heart. And like Roald Dahl, I too value kindness above all other qualities in life.